things that have been stolen

so, i decided i should keep tabs on all that we steal,

because we're cool.

1. smarties from big lots

2. lamp from down the hall

3. ice cream sandwich from piggly wiggly

4. spoons from the cracker barrel

5. glass cup from nitetown

6. tiki torch from the keg

7. italian man dishcloth from albertson's

8. saltshaker from the cafeteria

9. spoon from the cafeteria

10. knife from the cafeteria

11. three signs from the swamp that say "please feed the fish but stash your trash"

more to come, i'm sure

the lafayette spot

thank you, granny.

desire, it won't bring you back

i know exactly how you feel

you were this close to closing deals

when everything fell from out your hands

you were forced to decide on other plans

you figured it best to just ignore it

otherwise, you're only living for it

and if anyone ever wondered why you did it

you'd swear you never sold your soul to the burning, burning, burning birdges

you know exactly what i want

so, i don't have to be so damn upfront

no matter the moment we decide to make our minds up

i'll know a man who may need a new assignment

to hand in his heart and take his last vacation

attempting to spoil imagination

if anyone ever wonders where he went

i would say that he spent his time driving over burning, burning, burning bridges

burning, burning which is nothing more than the longing for being uninvolved

oh, desire can cause heart attacks

lie berry

um, hi, we're in a library. would you like a glass of shut-the-fuck-up and a side order of i'm-gonna-sock-you-in-the-face? because i really think you need it.

that is all.

how to be a lady 101

so, recently, i got slightly drunk and told my two good friends in lafayette that i need me a man. my problem is that i'm always seen as "one of the guys."  so, now it's their mission to reverse that, i guess. adrienne and chase have both decided to put me through "Charm School." i, of course, decided to blog the adventures. 

"just don't say vagina when you first meet a guy"

-adrienne

i think i can handle this one. hopefully. i've never been fond of the vagina anyways; i think it's rather gross if you ask me.  i wish we could put flowers in it and make it a vase. that would be nice. and good smelling.

"i'll set a scene...walking down st. mary street. i, a random guy waiting in line for the bus, see you and do a simple smile. what do you do?"

"smile back"

"and also...?"

"umm.... ask him how he's doing?"

"niiiice"

-chase and me

look, i'm already on my way! i know the simple rules of common courtesy!

"confidence. major turn on"

"do i seem confident?"

"VERY"

-chase and me

SHAWING!

i am allowed to say "whatever tickles your pickle" to guy friends. that's good. 

"so, should i maybe look somewhat presentable for class?"

"definitely, but not ALL the time and not overly"

"no, like, just hair and some makeup?"

"yeah"

"okay, i can do that. and, maybe, i'll shave my legs"

-chase and me

i can do this, i swear

i am pathetic.  i blame all this on the gays.

axilla

armpits are weird. i think we should have a flap of skin there instead of some sunken in space. maybe i just want to be a flying squirrel

the blades

The Blades. They're my new obsession. I know my want for blades only came since tyleroakley, but I still love them. 

Adrienne and I went to Academy (sports and outdoors... ACADEMY!), and we each strapped on a pair and bladed all around the store. I realized then I wasn't very good for I was slipping all over the place. I bought them anyway for $26.99. I think I love them so much because they were so cheap. 

When I got back to UL, I put them on my pretty little feet, and bladed back to the dorm. I fell a few times and got a gnarly scrape. I feel badass saying I got this wound from blading. 

So, last night, Adrienne and I rode our bikes to Girard Park and met up with Chase. They went running; I went blading. There's a fairly large pond with ducks and nutria (i know, right?), so I went around there. The sky grew darker, but I continued to blade, because there are lights all around it. 

I'm not lying at all when I say that everytime i got close to one light, it would shut off and turn back on after I passed it. Someone was playing a mean joke on me. I still laughed. I love my blades. I suck at blading, but I'm gonna be good one day. I want a shirt that says "Team Pup 'n' Suds." Love it.