an ode to keith. my first true love

well, i guess it would be nice

if we could go on bourbon street

get a couple of hand grenades

and get really drunk

well, i guess it would be nice

if i could meet a real cool guy

take him back to the house

but i don't want a punk

but i need a real man to get me going

someone who's not afraid to kiss my neck

but when keith moved down

he quit the show and

asked me how i was doing

and it really wasn't great

so i had to fake, fake, fake

well, i guess it would be nice

if he had brought a condom

because i'm a nursing major

i know better than that

well, i guess it would be nice

if he would listen up

when i say we won't fuck

buddy, zip it up

because i need a real man to get me going

someone who's not afraid to kiss my neck

but when keith moved down

he quit the show and

asked me how i was doing

and it really wasn't great

so, i had to fake, fake, fake

well, i think it's really nice

that i have such great friends

that walk my sleezy boyfriends

out the door

well, i guess it would be nice

if i could have some fries

with cheese and gravy on the side

and a water too

because i need a real man to get me going

someone who's not afraid to kiss my neck

but when keith moved down

he quit the show and

asked me how i was doing

and it really wasn't great

so, i had to fake, fake, fake